Pandemic Parables: Insight
Pandemic Parables: Insight
Recently I had a moment of real insight in the hospital in Frederick, Maryland where I am working as a Resident Chaplain until the end of August.
Let me explain.
I had a fascinating conversation with the head of one of the departments of the hospital. I knew he was a kind, gracious, caring man. However I learned more about him when we were having a socially distanced chat and his mask accidentally slipped off.
“Don’t you find it a relief to not have to wear a mask even for just for a short time?” I said.
“Oh its so much easier without masks! He replied putting his back on. Especially for me as I’m deaf.”
“I had no idea.” I said.
“Yes” he replied.
“I’m completely deaf in one ear and with the other I can hear people on the telephone.
Just.
So I rely on lip reading, which of course I can’t do when people are wearing masks.”
“Have you tried those masks where they have a clear panel at the front” I said.
I had just read a story on line about a woman who had got a grant to make them in bulk. I felt rather pleased to know about this development.
My smugness rapidly dissolved.
“It’s no use me wearing one of those.”
He said with a laugh.
“For them to work everyone else would have to be wearing one.”
The light went on!
“Of course!” I said. “So tell me more. How do you manage?”
The department head went on to explain how very difficult it was for the deaf community at the moment. He reminded me that to just communicate ordinarily they use their eyes and hands, and so more of their brain is working than hearing folk.
In addition not everyone’s signing is as skillful as it could be so they rely heavily on lip reading.
But now lips aren’t visible.
He told me about a friend of his who works in a deaf unit within a psychiatric hospital. She and her team are exhausted with the great strain of communicating. This is in addition to the exhaustion we all feel at being plunged into a virus-soaked world.
This double burden is leading to depression, serious depression in some cases.
“And,” said my new friend, “that depression is spreading within the deaf community even when they communicate among themselves.”
This surprised me.
“Why?” I said. “Why is it harder for them to understand each other than normal?
“It’s because of punctuation.” He explained.
“We use our faces to bring sense to our sentences.”
Continuing to stand at a safe distance, he slid his mask down.
“Look,” He said.
Then with nose flares and twitches of his mouth he explained the finer points of deaf speech. The periods, the commas, the exclamation points.
For some things he used his eyebrows. But mostly he moved areas that are covered by a mask.
I was fascinated! I had no idea of the depth of the deaf community’s current challenge.
“What if everyone wore the masks with the clear inserts, would that help?” I asked eagerly, really wanting to learn.
“Well my mother thought of that.” He responded. She is an expert seamstress and she produced many of that kind of mask for me. But they were a disaster! The vinyl insert was continually fogging up because of breath, and no trick or solution would stop it. Wearing a face shield without a mask helps because there is more room for the air to circulate. But even they can fog up - and they are often heavy and uncomfortable. Who wants to wear one of those all day?”
Then he added: “There are a lot of older people who don’t like to admit they are hard of hearing. They are only realizing now how much they usually depend on reading lips to get by. They too are struggling and can sink into depression because their life has suddenly got so much more difficult.”
Of course! It all made so much sense!
I felt like a window had been opened into a new world. I knew the view it gave me would help me be more understanding with my patients, coworkers, and deaf friends.
Or at least I hope it will!
It certainly made me wonder what other situations I don’t understand.
Other areas where I have only seen things from my perspective, through the filter of my own worldview.
Where I have been oblivious to silent cries of frustration, of heartache, from the depths of people that I interact with daily.
And so, I consider that conversation with the department head to be a gift.
A gift of sensitivity. Of awareness.
May we all be given insight to understand the hidden struggles all around us.
In the midst of our own challenges may we be aware of the hurdles faced by others.
And no matter what is thrown at us each day, no matter how we are overwhelmed, oh Lord, help us, help me, to be understanding.
To be kind.
Amen.
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